If you’d like to leave Zach a message, please contact him at
The Official Fan Page of Zach Anner on Facebook.
If you’d like to book Zach for a speaking engagement, please contact
zachannerbookings@gmail.com.
If you’d like to leave Zach a message, please contact him at
The Official Fan Page of Zach Anner on Facebook.
If you’d like to book Zach for a speaking engagement, please contact
zachannerbookings@gmail.com.
Hello self.
Hey Zach!
I must start off by saying that you deserved that show on oprah, in my mind, you won it. Well I have been watching you since Lark the Beard stuff back in late 2008, and you inspire me haha. My little bro has CP, and the minute I saw you, I knew you would cheer him up. Your witty, fast, and clever comedy is unrivaled from any other that I’ve heard. Keep doing your thing Zach, you have a very promising future. Lastly, just watched episode 6 of the wingmen, and I must say, Olive Garden does get the ladies. I took my gf there for a first date, and it was a ‘fun’ night.
A true fan
Cameron
Hey Cameron-
Thanks for the early support. I hope Olive Garden was a fun and sexy time for you. Say hi to your little bro for me. I hope that answers your question!
Stay sexy!
~Zach
Is any Atlantis too underwater or fictional?
Dear Murkat-
Absolutely not! But if I drown one day, you’ll know I was wrong.
Tenderly,
Zach
You may have been asked this multiple times, Zach, but – why are you so darned awesome?! Oprah may or may not snub you, but I really do see bigger and better things coming from you soon
Keep up teh awesome work!
It’s a combination of my awesome touque and my lazy eye. It allows part of me to be on vacation while the rest of me is hard at work.
COME TO CHINA! You would love it here, and I would love you to come here!
One question though….Who would win? A panda …..or a Chinchilla in a Zach Anner T-shirt?
EPIC!
Love Alex xoxoxox
A panda. Didn’t you see that movie where the panda does Kung-Fu? The chinchilla would back down from the fight so as not to damage the shirt. I’d love to come to China and crawl the Great Wall!
Dear Zach,
My girlfriend is deeply and uncontrollably in love with you and so are a bunch of my friends. This is fine with me as I am as well (the GF and I will role play where she pretends to be you and I pretend to be your wheelchair… I don’t know how it works, but it does). The problem lies in that she (and now many of my friends) are committing to several attempts of trying cerebral palsy-inize themselves. They want to be just like you. This is totally insane for a few reasons:
1) You can’t give yourself cerebral palsy… They’re probably just gonna get paralyzed or dead
2) As far as matching your glowing physical attraction goes… well… each attempt is just making more work for the plastic surgeon…
and the most important/unfixable/ungettable of all
3) They aren’t the least bit funny
My question is as follows: As their infallible and unquestionable Lord and almighty Deity (so much for the “i” before “e” rule), can you help stop this madness before all hell breaks loose and they start a cult and then there are robes and a cult and crazy amount of punch and they’re mixing and gatorade with koolaide and adding more sugar even though this more than enough in the packets already and omgstfugtfo1337pwnbbq JUST DO SOMETHING ZACH! DO SOMETHING BEFORE IT’S TOO LATE!
Anyway, much love and appreciation for everything you do and I can’t wait to see some more showage and videos and funniness and if you ever need anything in Minnesota you give me and my completely insane group of friends a call (651-283-5575)
Your inconsolably scared fan,
Alex Collyard
(P.S. Speaking of robes, were there ever any wheelchair bound KKK members? Do they drape the entire chair or what’s up with that?)
Dear Alex,
I’d love to be able to stop your friends from trying to be like me, starting a cult,etc., however upon closer examination it seems their logic is completely sound and their practices are reasonable. I wholeheartedly support their efforts to palserize themselves as more people in wheelchairs means more curbcuts for me. As far as I know, there are not any wheelchair bound KKK members because we are generally very tolerant and peaceful people (plus, the sheets would get caught in our wheels). If I ever see anyone from the KKK I’ll run them over and hopefully we can make at least one in a wheelchair.
Oh, yeah, you betcha!
Zach
Hey Zach,
What are the odds that you’ll answer a question which is simply asking if you’ll answer a question???
Also, you effen rule.
The odds are one in five.
Zach,
I’ve been hearing about you all over the web (used up almost all of my 50 free hours of AOL, gotta find another) and have loved the videos you put out. Each one is better than the last. I have a request if you will, could you make a shirt that has the quote “No Atlantis too underwater or fictional” included in some way? After I heard that line, I’ve been a fan ever since.
Keep doing your thing man, it’s great.
-Max
hey Max-
That quote is on the back of all my shirts and since I often accidentally put on my shirts backwards, it also appears on the front of MY shirts.
Thanks for the support!
Zach
I live in Juneau, Alaska, which is basically a polar opposite of Texas as far as I’ve heard. I’ve lived here for about 10 years now, and I’ve gotten used to and enjoy the cold and lack of things like spiders or scorpions. The reason I bring this up is that I am moving to Arizona within the next few months, which is a far different enviroment. Do you have any tips for me?
You’re in luck. Alaska and Arizona have pretty much the same climate and environment. You shouldn’t need to change anything at all. Wait…no that’s not right. My advice is to get used to air conditioning and doing most of your shopping early in the day or in the evenings. I’ve never lived in either place, but I’m pretty sure you should get all of your moose hunting out of the way before the move. Hope it all goes well and that you enjoy your new life.
Zach
Dear Zach,
If I were to write a movie about your life, who would be your first choice to play the lead role of Zach Anner? Also, if it was a fictionalized account of your life, who would play your seven wives and three kids?
Dear Wes,
As it turns out, someone is already making a movie about my life. Unfortunately, it focuses primarily on the period where I was a man dressed in an iron suit for the third time. If I had my choice, I would be played by Will Smith. He’s just so likable and everything. My seven wives and 3 kids would all be played by a mixture of Eddie Murphy and Mike Myers, plus if any of those Gosselin kids need work, they’re welcome to audition.
Thanks.
Zach
Dear Zach,
My mom said that you don’t really exist and that once we get past a certain age we have to accept that it’s only daddy dressed up in a t-shirt riding around in a wheelchair and delivering epic one-liners.
I think she’s lying, and I believe in you. But can you tell my mom that you’re real so she believes too?
Thanks!
Jackie
Dear Jackie,
I am real because you believe in me. Tell your mom that even though Daddy is funny, it would be impractical of him to pretend to be me because wheelchairs are so expensive. In today’s economy we can’t afford to be anyone but ourselves.
Follow your dreams.
~Zach
Hi Zach!
I’m sure you’ve been asked this already, but why did you decide to donate T-shirt proceeds to families affected by the oil spill, instead of, say, a support or research organization involved with cerebral palsy?
Not saying there’s anything wrong with your choice; it just seemed unexpected.
–Can’t wait to get the t-shirt.
-florence
Hi Florence-
Excellent question. I definitely want to support causes for people with disabilities down the line. The reason I chose to donate the proceeds to the people of the Gulf is because I feel they’ve had a truly terrible time lately and there is such a great culture and heritage in that area that it needs to be preserved at all costs. There are many great causes I want to support when I have the means. Unfortunately there’s never one right answer when it comes to these things. Thanks for your support.
Zach
If you were the King of your kingdom and you could have any two animals (real, fictional, or extinct) to protect your throne, which two would you pick and why?
-Brendan
Berkeley, CA
Dear Brendan-
I have thought about this question for many years. Here is the definitive answer. I would have a Unicorn because they are both magical creatures and trusted companions. I would also have a kitty because kitties look cute when you out them in big people’s shoes. If my kingdom were overthrown, I’d have an adorable kitty to cheer me up and a Unicorn to make Subway sandwiches and rainbows with his horn glitter.
Hope that helps!
Zach
Hey Zach!
First of all, love your videos! I love your humour and positivity! Ever since I saw your video for Oprahs show, I started promoting you to all my friends. However, I want to say one thing. I wish your travel videos, as much as they make me laugh, contained more valuable, factual information about the places you visit.
All the best!
Alex-
I agree with you. Incorporating more info into my videos is high on my list of priorities.When the format is extended beyond 3 minute YOUtube videos, I’ll definitely maintain more of a balance between facts and fun.
Thanks for the advice and the support.
Zach
Hi Zach,
Where do I send my fan mail? You are just too awesome. Do your shirts ship to Canada? They are awesome. I hope you meet Betty White, she is awesome. Who will reply to this? Not you directly, right? It would take a lot of time to answer every one individually. You must get a lot of fan mail. You must have minions working for you. Or monkeys with type-writers hooked up to the internet. Anyway, you’re just really awesome. Like, really, really awesome. Please come visit us up North. In CANadAH.
Over and out.
** End transmission. **
I do not have minions or monkeys. I do have a mom who’s very patient and helpful when it comes to me answering my own e-mails like I am now. Yes my shirts ship to CANadAH and I just got my enhanced ID so I will visit there soon.
love,
Zach
Zach, I see that you have appeared as a robot at least once. How many times have you been a robot, and have any of those robots been linked to transformers?
Though I play Optimus Prime on T.V., in my off time I am the pink pterodactyl robot in the Megazoid in Power Rangers.
Dear Zach,
I love your happiness. Could you please start selling it along with the nice T-shirts? I think many people could benefit from your joy. You could even call it “Zappiness.” Although that sounds like electric shock.
I will be the first to purchase it if it does go on sale. Or I will try.
Stay awesome.
-Michelle-
Dear Michelle-
My happiness is free. I’d ship some to you but I don’t think it would keep so I suggest you do everything to find your own as it will be much more satisfying in the long run. Thanks for your support.
Zach
Everything is a “reality show these days, what reality show would you create?
I’d probably do a travel show.
Will you marry me and move to Canada?
How do you deal with negative energy?
Would you do a buff in Canada?
I’ll marry you, but can you move Canada to here? I haven’t gotten my enhanced license in the mail yet. I also may have another wife or two. Is this a problem?
I don’t pay too much attention to negative energy. There’s too much positive stuff going around.
I can’t do a Zach in the Buff in Canada but I can do a Zach on the Can in Canada.
Hi Zach,
I just wanted to write to tell you how much I enjoy your show. You’re a total riot and I wish you all the best. I was wondering if you do public appearances and how much you charge? I hope all is well and look forward to hearing from you.
Sincerely,
Bill Harris
I go out in public and if you happen to catch me I’ll hang out with you for free. I don’t do public appearances yet because I think I’d be boring, but I let you know if I become a bankable star. Thanks for your interest!
when will the episode of the wingman air?oh by the way i think aaron and chris are so hot tell them lol
I told Aaron and Chris what you said but I forgot to tell them you said it so it came off kind of gay. The new episode of The Wingmen should be up anytime now. Feel free to hassle Chris and Aaron about it as well.
hmmm..
i’m supposed to ask you a question.
Do you like… uh, sushi?
Unfortunately, I don’t like sushi. I would however enjoy the social stature it would bring me. That way when someone says “Do you like sushi?” I could reply, “Ah, yes. And I have a Pekinese dog named Elizabeth the Second who travels in a solid gold handbag.”
why you fag?
cuz
Test
Test
About 30%, depending on the market.
This may sound like a cop-out but I feel that regardless of political persuasions the best way to make positive progress is to focus on what we all have in common. While I disagree with Jordan on certain issues, we both have similar senses of humor, so to anwer your question, I just try to stay focused on comedy that inspires, not politics.
Cheerio!
Zach
Thanks you so much for looking out for me and being part of the Reddit community. I’m not sure how I would use those domains yet, but I deeply appreciate the gesture. I remember the night I first went viral and realizing it didn’t belong to me anymore! If you’d like you could forward the info to the larkthebeard@gmail.com because they help with a lot of my website issues. Thanks again!
Zach
Hi!
Thanks for your support. I believe international shipping is set up now so you should be able to order a shirt. I hope to be visiting Finland soon!
Finnishly yours,
Zach
I haven’t spoken to Nova Scotia in months and I think they’re just going through a phase. It’s typical at that age so my advice is to be patient, and create an open dialogue.
Yes!
I wish! Maybe sometime in the near future…? In the meantime, go shirtless in protest!
Good question! I just checked on the tag and apparently they’re made in Honduras.
I don’t play/watch enough Pokemon to have a favorite. Let me get back to you when I’m more familiar with them. Hold on, I have to go do…something for the next 300 hours. Be right back.
Considering my only exposure to Russia is the bad guys in James Bond movies, I definitely need to go!
I absolutely LOVE “Harold and Maude”!! I enjoy Cat Steven’s, and when I am not in a wheel chair, I drive a Hearst.
My brother has actually just begun being very skilled at making curry, and when he was younger, he could convincingly perform “Sweet Transvestite.” His curry experience far exceeds mine. I also like that “Three musketeers ” movie, that he is in, with the notable exception of Chris O’donnell.
Love Zach
Hey Steve,
I don’t know if you’re back from Italy yet, however I appreciate the offer of a hat. I’d love to steal the Pope’s hat, but I think I’d get in trouble. Let me know if you had any success.
love you too, deeply and exclusively,
Zach
Dear Jay-
I’m not allowed to do press at the moment but as soon as I am I will let you know. I had a dream I threw a party and I was there. I was disappointed. Maybe YOU should come so I don’t have to throw away all this pie.
Zach
Dear Talasan-
Funny story, the exact same thing happened to me, except instead of all that gruesome stuff, I was surprised on my 13th birthday and went to Disney World. Funny how things work out.
Thanks.
Zach
Dear Ben-
I saw Oscar Peterson in Toronto. It was really incredible.
Zach
Dear Davey-
Sounds good. I let you know when it happens.
Zach
Dear Lani-
Sorry I missed it. I hope to make one of your parties sometime. I’ll be in Austin in November, I think, so keep me posted!
Thanks.
Zach
Dear Keisha-
Unfortunately, I have a dentist appointment that month. Would you mind rescheduling?
Thanks.
Zach
Dear Nick-
I do work out, plus every time I put my pants on I work up a sweat so it’s kind of accidental. Thank you for noticing.
Zach
Dear Conrad-
I’d absolutely love to come visit the UK. You have a beautiful neighborhood. I’d definitely enjoy having tea with you and the Prime Minister. Let’s make it happen!
Zach
Dear Luli-
I haven’t been to Australia yet. I definitely need some street cred. When I finally make it to Melbourne, I’ll be sure to bring you Starbucks because they’re absolutely everywhere here. They’re currently turning my wheelchair into a Starbucks. Ok, I’m out also!
Zach
I’d love to come to your wedding but I’m not a freeloader. That $2.15 will get a good 12 hours of heavy lifting. They say 50% of marriages end in divorce, but that also means 50% of marriages end in marriage. My best of luck to you and your wife.
Zach
I’d love to release videos answering questions every week. Unfortunately, due to some pretty awesome stuff I;m not able to release videos right now. The crawlathon training is in a holding pattern at the moment but my dad has just finished making a contraption out of skateboard wheels that will allow me to crawl with much more ease. I’m very excited. Thanks for your support.
Zach
Both.
Sorry I missed this. I’d love to be a part of your show sometime. Unfortunately I’m not able to do press at the moment, but when I am I will let you know.
Thanks for your interest.
Zach
Dear Nolan-
I suppose I could make an ipod ap for my fans but I just don’t know how to yet. I’m getting a new ipod touch today so hopefully I’ll figure some things out. Thanks.
Zach
P.S. Would the aps still be appealing if it merely a list of what was in my fridge and every time I bought or removed an item it would send you an e-mail? Just a thought.
That’s a very good question. Unfortunately I haven’t been able to visit any of those places yet. I got so many great videos. I particularly loved the one from San Francisco because she wrote me a song. As soon as I’m able I’ll be traveling to as many of the destinations as I can. Koalas- it depends on the year of the Beetle. Please be more specific.
Thanks for taking the time to write to me in between your busy schedule. I hope to release more videos soon but have some commitments I have to uphold first. Until then try to find the humor in the everyday things that drive you crazy. That’s one of the most important lessons I’ve learned is that everything can be funny if you look at it from the right perspective. Thanks so much for your support!
Zach
Dear Sarah-
I love the South, toilet paper, and you. So I see no reason why we can’t be friends. You already have a mini-van that could transport my chair so I think we should get married. Let me know if this okay with you, your parents, and anyone else you plan to invite.
love forever,
Zach
Currently I’m not a stand-up comedian although I do greatly respect that are brave enough to do it. It may be in the cards for me to one day be funny but so far it’s worked to be a completely serious person. Good luck with your tour and I’ll be sure to keep you informed. Thanks for the support.
Zach
Sorry I missed this. Unfortunately, I wouldn’t have been able to do it anyway because I have commitments that prevent me from doing any press at this time. However, I would absolutely love to be on the show when those commitments are finished, so please keep me in the loop. Thanks for your interest.
Zach